Between the lines

I don't want to sound so depressing or pessimistic about life, instead i aim to convey a more hopeful and optimistic view of life. But, unfortunately i end up feeling more gloomy and uninspired even before i write the first word. I am an overthinker, an extreme overthinker, what do you expect right? Occasionally, certain past instances have a way of resurfacing and casting a shadow on my present, deeply affecting my overall outlook. And i don't have a steadfast support system thats there for me no matter what. I don't want to diminish the importance of people who're actually genuinely there for me and i don't let them in it with me as mush as they deserve to be but for what i know, things change, they also have people who hold more significant place in their lives than i do. Communicating one's feelings of hurt to someone when they don't appear to appreciate the depth of emotional turmoil caused by their actions can be a difficult situation to face, especially for individual prone to overthinking. It can be particularly disheartening when the other person attempts to rationalize their behavior, seemingly disregarding the emotional pain experienced by the individual. For me its not just about the word; i try to discern peoples emotions and their hidden intentions behind what they write or what they speak and more often that not i have been right about them. What's most painful is when you've clearly articulated and explained what causes you pain repeatedly for the umpteenth time, and yet people tend to do the same hurtful actions to you. Not everyone will find me soft and nice, i am nicest to the very few people i take in as mine. Ironically, its the same few who seem to have hurt me the most lately. I read between the lines first and i value little things. 

I am not sure if this writeup comes across as something that makes sense at all but i felt a heavy burden on my chest and i needed to let go of some of the weight. 

P.S No hard feelings